BBC Thought for the Day - 17 January 2026

The below is the script from my Thought for the Day delivered on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme on Saturday, 17 January 2026. You can listen to it on BBC Sounds here.

Good morning,

I’ll never forget the car journey from my ancestral home in Abia State, Nigeria, to Port Harcourt to catch a flight back to London. My husband and I were in a car with a driver and our one-year-old son, who had been ill the whole week we were there. We’d managed to get some antibiotics but on the long journey, he seemed to be getting worse. My mind raced and I wondered what we would do, with no ambulances, and no hospitals nearby.

Thankfully, my fears never materialised – he recovered and we made it home to London and to the NHS.

A few months ago, I was at the Southbank Centre for the launch of Dream Count – the latest book from my favourite living author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. There she spoke about the joy and the challenges of motherhood, and the ways in which it changes you.

But earlier this month, the worst possible thing a mother can imagine happened for Adichie, when her one-year-old son did die after falling ill on a family trip to Nigeria for Christmas. She and her husband are now taking legal action against the Lagos hospital at which their baby was treated, accusing them of negligence, and wanting to make sure this never happens again.

I’ve found myself unable to face these heartbreaking headlines, wanting to look away from this mother and her grief. “I will never survive the loss of my child,” Adichie said. It’s a pain that seems unimaginable – there isn’t even a word in the English language to describe a parent whose child has died.

One can be tempted to point to the good that can come out of such tragedy. There are countless examples in history of women who’ve fought to enact change following their children’s deaths. Mamie Till Mobley became a key voice in the civil rights movement following the murder of her teenage son Emmett Till, Doreen Lawrence’s long quest for justice following the murder of her son Stephen in 1993. And last week, Frances Menai-Davis, whose six-year-old son Hugh died of a rare cancer is campaigning alongside her husband for new statutory financial provision for parents whose children are seriously ill.

I could point too to the most famous mother of all, who also faced the heartbreak of her child’s death: Mary, mother of Jesus. Historical documents suggest that in the years following Jesus’s death and resurrection, Mary became one of the most prominent leaders in the early Church – a movement that changed the world forever.

Christian tradition, however, hasn’t skipped over Mary’s grief or suggested everything happens for a reason. This would be inadequate in the face of such indescribable pain. But  Mary’s tears represent the grief and pain of all who suffer, the agony of every mother.

In the face of such heartbreak, faith doesn’t offer pat answers, but perhaps it might show that those who grieve are never alone.

Photo by Grant Whitty on Unsplash